I am a young lady in mid twenties.
I was brought up in an Islamic way by my folks who are devout and god dreading.
I was dependably god dreading as well yet I got into an incredible sin and have
lost my significant serenity. I had a companion who is a person who is
similarly inspired by Islam, Da'wah and so forth. We worked at a similar
office. His dad too is a devout individual and his family set up is much the
same as mine. We are from two diverse yet neighbouring nations and living in a
third nation. We turned out to be great companions because of our common
advantages and after at some point became hopelessly enamoured. That is the place
I offered into Shaytaan, yet I understand it just at this point. After at some
point we turned out to be excessively close in each sense, including a nearby
physical connection. Each time he guaranteed me that I am his significant other
and we are most likely getting hitched soon, so its not a major issue (to have
intercourse). Despite the fact that we knew it was a wrongdoing, I was blinded
by the adoration for him and believed him such a great amount (because of which
I assented to have intercourse).
Toward the end, end of a year ago,
he informed
his family regarding me, however his religious father didn't care
for it simply because I am from an alternate region and he powerfully wedded
his child off to another young lady. This person guaranteed me he wouldn't
abandon me for any reason however he twisted to his father's weight and wedded
that young lady and he later met me once and he was dismal too ( I thought) and
he guaranteed me that we would be as one in the following scene Insha Allah and
lets approach pardoning from Allah for the transgression we submitted.
I acknowledged that it was our
destiny and left him wishing him a joyfully wedded life. He guaranteed me he'll
send me sends each month on a specific date which is the date he proposed me before.
We concurred that in that mail he will be just asking how I am, nothing else,
so I know regardless he stays faithful to his obligation of meeting in the
paradise and he will always remember me and so forth.
Yet, then he never sent me a short
time later, after quite a while I sent him a mail asking how he is and whether
his guarantee is still substantial. Be that as it may, he never reacted, I
attempted to call him yet no reply. I didn't expect anything from him in this
world with the exception of that he will continue asking Allah for our
pardoning and for us to be as one in the Heaven Insha Allah.
I know his father commandingly
wedded him off to another young lady and he is living with her, all what I
anticipated from him is that he will stay faithful to his obligation of the
following scene. I know it may sound absolutely senseless yet I adored him so
much and still love him so much that I can't overlook him, so I esteemed this
last guarantee to such an extent. Additionally since I have conferred such a
major sin of having a physical connection with him, I have chosen not to wed
ever, with the expectation that Allah will excuse mine and his wrongdoing on
the off chance that I keep on praying for that and request absolution. In any
case, I have lost my significant serenity. I obviously comprehend that he has
overlooked me totally and he has informed that its a waste that he battled with
his folks to wed me, since he has a superior spouse now. Additionally he let me
know that he wouldn't like to petition God for that guarantee any longer as his
stand is changed at this point. What I comprehend from that will be that now he
doesn't have the desire to be as one in the following scene either.
Presently we have quit talking
totally as I would prefer not to be a diversion to his wedded life and would
prefer not to be related to any wrongdoing any longer.
I feel so sold out, this person
persuaded me to love him so much and made me succumb to him through his Islamic
talks. Toward the starting, I didn't acknowledge him, he persuaded me so much
saying he can persuade his family and we would be an impeccable match. Likewise
he guaranteed me for the sake of Allah thousands times to persuade me to be
physically near him, each time saying he is my significant other and Allah
realizes that, however individuals don't have the foggiest idea.
Each time he let me know how he
wouldn't consider wedding another in light of the fact that how he would answer
Allah on the off chance that he does that. In any case, now he has totally
changed and he has broken all the guarantee to me including the last guarantee
he gave me that he will keep on praying for us to be as one in the following
scene Insha Allah. He said thinks change and for me to change as well and to
wed another person.
I feel so sold out, I feel as
though he has utilized me when he needed to and I feel as though I have the
discipline from Allah for trusting and cherishing a person more than the summon
of Allah and submitting an awesome sin. I abhor wedding when my folks are
discussing it now. They realize that I enjoyed this person however no body
knows I was this near him. They are searching for religious taught folks for
me. In any case, I would prefer not to wed ever. Most importantly, I had given
all my adoration to this person and I cannot think about someone else, also I
feel vomitish to think the possibility of marriage as I as of now had a nearby
connection with this person.
I have lost my rest and joy and
significant serenity on account of this. I have submitted an incredible sin and
I have been sold out by the individual I adored most. I attempt to get back my
true serenity by perusing more Quran and accomplishing more social works and so
forth. Yet, I have lost enthusiasm for everything.
Will you please answer me the
accompanying inquiries?
Will I get absolution for this
wrongdoing?
How would I get true serenity when
I know the amount I am sold out?
I am harmed and constantly weeping
for this most recent 6 months, how would I support myself?
In the event that I had cherished
this person really, will I get the opportunity to live with him in the great
beyond?
He was so cherishing and minding
around then, simply after his marriage he feels no esteem to the connection we
had some time recently. So will despite everything I get him when he doesn't
love me any longer and when he doesn't ask any longer that I ought to be his
significant other in the great beyond at any rate?
How would I abstain from getting
hitched when my folks are compelling me?
I will get genuine feelings of
serenity on the off chance that I know only that this person still has that
same love for me however he doesn't any longer and we will be as one in the
paradise Insha Allah. Is it al right to would like to like this when he is
hitched to someone else and when he doesn't have that longing any longer?
Wassalam.
Answer:
Dear Sister,
May Allah administer to you,
secure you, pardon you and allow all of you the solace you require. Absolution
for sex before marriage has its configuration in the Shariah. I don't know
whether it is Waajib (obligatory) for a man who has done such a demonstration
while being unmarried to educate an Islamic Qadhi about what he/she has
executed. punishment for zina is for big. All things considered, you in all likelihood living in nations where
the Shariah laws are not connected. Regardless of the possibility that you
were, you would not have the guts to acknowledge the Shariah discipline of
being lashed/whipped. You in this way need to approach absolution for your
whole life. Allah alone knows whether He should pardon you without meeting discipline
in this world or the Hereafter. Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful and He is
additionally All-Mighty and has the full energy to rebuff in the event that He
so wills. Insha-Allah if your Taubah is genuine earnest, Allah will take a
gander at you positively.
How to repent in Islam is not a trick but it's matter of human and Allah.You can't get genuine feelings of
serenity as to his double-crossing since you, yourself, have sold out the
requests of Allah. Dating and closeness before marriage has no legitimacy in
Islam. You opened your legs and permitted him sexual delight. You abused the
requests of Allah and your own pride. Or maybe, figure out how to overlook him
on the premise that he was not in your taqdeer. Never consider him, and in
spite of his treachery, never think about the same nor attempt to discover
reasons why he double-crossed you. What has happened is history. Disregard it.
Take in a lesson for what's to come. Get genuine feelings of serenity by
swinging to Allah. Disregard the past. Carry on with an existence of compliance
to the requests of Allah. Assemble your most profound sense of being.
Sister, on the off chance that you
weep for a million years, it won't reestablish your virginity.Marriage problems Islam?
Likewise, unendingly weeping for a
man with no pride will exacerbate your wellbeing, feelings and mental
steadiness. That human creature took your virginity. He utilized you. He
appreciated you. He focused on you. He guaranteed you. He laid bare on you, and
eventually he dumped you. He was not man enough to illuminate his folks that he
engaged in sexual relations with you. He didn't regard the way that you as a
man will one day seek to wed however will dread to do as such in light of the
fact that you lost your virginity. He couldn't have cared less about rationally
and sincerely influencing your whole existence with the musings of a smashed
love. He made you qualified for the discipline of Allah for the way of the
transgression you commonly executed. On the off chance that Allah does not
excuse you, will you not confront discipline for that in this world or in the
Hereafter? Is such a man worth sobbing for? Disregard him, overlook his charms,
overlook his looks and overlook the snapshots of sexual delight and love.
Demolish or give away every blessing he gave you. Give nothing a chance to help
you to remember him. Discover encouragement with the way that in spite of your
internal cognizance in regards to the loss of virginity, you are Muslim. You
have Allah. You have the entryways of Taubah. Figure out how to acknowledge
that the world is full with billions of affection cases that have suffocated in
depression.
Lamentably, when we become
hopelessly enamored, without picking up the privilege to permit our feelings to
be connected, we imperil our rational soundness and sentiments. Cherish
transforms the world into a presence that must serve the manages of the
significant others. We, in this state, dismiss the requests of Allah. Our
brains enter the dull fissure of unlawful sexual joy. The heart looses bearing
and the compass of life leads us to live in a theoretical structure of false
satisfaction and closeness.
At the point when the human eye of
the mate sets its objective on another casualty or another spirit, then life
trembles because of treachery and the fall of a domain of goals implicit the
air. At that point just do the substances of life face us. The main do we
understand the errors. At that point just do you wind up with a key loss of
virginity.
I am not Allah, I can't say
whether you should live with him in the Hereafter. In the event that you have
never hitched in this presence, I don't know whether you and other unmarried
females would be married to people of your decision. A great many ahadith would
need to be considered for the arrangements on these matters. It is interesting
that you look for, in the Hereafter, a man who disregarded Allah's requests.
You look for a man that dumped you irrelevant of the amount you attempt to
decrease the agony by attempting to legitimize why he wedded another female and
left you.
Love and marriage is by and large
a common decision. On the off chance that he doesn't supplicate that you be his
significant other in the Hereafter, how might you then be his better half? He
has officially presumed that sex and different things you complimented him
with, have no more esteem to him. He had his sexual needs met. He appreciates
another valley now. His eyes have opened to the assortment of ladies that
exists out there. In the event that he tasted you, who knows – what number
others did he appreciate?
Try not to be a trick by staying
away from to take a gander at marriage. Your folks can't drive you into
marriage. In any case, don't discount it. You might be fortunate to get a man
who is a million times superior to the next. Be upbeat. In the distance, Allah
has composed – Insha-Allah another person for you.
It is not alright for you to
craving to be his better half when he is hitched to another in spite of the
fact that the Shariah permits a man to have four spouses. The reasonableness of
the matter is that most Muslim men never have a second spouse. The more you
live with the false trust the more you will endure and you will relinquish
great chances to wed. In the long run you will be an old woman with no spouse.
You will lament not getting hitched.
Go get hitched and have Halaal
sex.
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