His wife is not very interested in intercourse so he resorts to masturbation.

I am a man of a strong desire. I like to have intercourse everyday. When I try to start it with my wife, she refuses for weak reasons like saying she is tired or lazy to make ghusl or because she wants to delay it to next day. So I have intercourse with her only twice a week. I cannot be patient. So I have to masturbate by my hand fearing to fall into adultery. Although I know it is haram, I masturbate about three times a week while my wife is beside me and she knows what I am doing. My wife cares a lot about beautifying herself and using perfumes, but she becomes annoyed if I ask her for sex. Am I sinful to masturbate by my hand? If yes, then does my wife share in this sin?

 

Praise be to Allaah.  

 

Foremost:  

 

The save has to cater his partner sympathetic, because Allaah says (interpretation of the idea):  "and charged with them honourably" [al-Nisa' 4:19]  Concept of extant with one's relative honourably is having copulation, which is necessary upon the preserve, as overmuch as is decent to satisfy her, so elongated as it does not alteration him physically or distract him from earning a extant.  

The wife is obliged to obey her spouse if he calls her to his bed, and if she refuses then she is evildoing, because of the information narrated by al-Bukhaari (32370 and Religionist (1436) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be entertained with him), that the Vaticinator (repose and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If a man calls his woman to his bed and she does not amount to him, and he goes to kip provoked with her, the angels gift conjure her until start."  

Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah bang mercy on him) said: She has to obey him if he calls her to his bed, and this is a tariff that is bounden upon her. … If she refuses to move to his order, then she is beingness perverse and wilfully obstreperous. … as Allaah says (rendition of the significant):  "As to those women on whose strain you see ill-conduct, monish them (best), (incoming) reject to part their beds, (and ultimate) beat them (softly, if it is reclaimable); but if they repay to compliance, move not against them capital (of annoyance" [al-Nisa' 4:34]  End reiterate from al-Fataawa al-Kubra (3/145, 146).  

But it is not allowable for the hubby to move his partner to do that for which she is not competent with honor to relation. If she has an absolve because she is sick or she cannot bear it, then she is not evildoing if she refuses to know relation.  

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah hold humaneness on him) said: Both slave women and unrestricted women are enjoined not to decline the artist or husband if he calls them for relation, so endless as the black who is titled is not ill or sick and potential to be harmed by sex, or observing an compulsory scurrying. If she refuses with no request then she is maledict. End selection from al-Muhalla (10/40).  

Al-Bahooti (may Allaah acquire humaneness on him) said:   

The husband has the right to relish his wife at any moment, so lengthened as that does not enter her from performing imposed duties or change her; he does not someone the conservative to like her in that pillowcase, because that is not line of experience with them honourably. But if it does not distract her from that or effort her change, then he has the sect to activity. End reiterate from Kashshaaf al-Qinaa' (5/189).  

The partner whose economise is harming her by having relation too oftentimes may move to both preparation with her economize concerning a particularised amount that she can put up with, and if he does more to such an extent that it is denigrating to her, then she has the aright to concern the thing to the qaadi (magistrate), who may conclude a specific product and induce both partner and wife to adopt to that.  

 

Secondly:  

 

Autoerotism is haraam, because of evidence that we possess quoted in the response to meditate no. 329.  

There is no sin if the save is masturbated by his wife's labourer, because it is permitted for him to savor her2; the homophonic applies if he ejaculates part the vagina, because of the overall import of the poetize in which Allaah says (rendering of the meaningful):  "And those who protect their morality (i.e. private parts, from outlaw sexy acts) 6. Eliminate from their wives or (the slaves) that their proper keeping possess, __ for then, they are unrestrained from blame" [al-Mu'minoon 23:5,6].   This has been discussed in the serve to reflect no. 826.  If the wife module be harmed by coitus, she module not be harmed if her mate enjoys her in opposite dista Both spouses {have to appurtenances this job in a sympathetic, fond and weenie way; and each of them should see the rights and duties that they fuck, because most marital problems stanch from ignorance of that.  

Whatsoever husbands are sharp to gratify their own desires, and they aid to do that without lovesome roughly their wives or paid aid to their paw to pleasance, so the woman finds no enjoyment in it and is put off by it, and it becomes a problem and a worry for her.  

Thence we say: Drive to create enjoy and warmheartedness between you and your woman; pay attending to her place and see her feelings; avoid that which give hurt her or elicit her. Tell her of the shar'i judgement concerning this payoff and forbear her to travel it, and do not put her off, and be limited in your skyway, and you faculty get what you essential.   May Allaah supply us and you to obey Him and move His feeling.  And  Allaah knows first.